Thursday, March 24, 2016

Revenge is Poison

Years had passed since Sugriva and Vali had battled at their school dance. Vali was nowhere to be found by the people, but Vali knew exactly where he would be. Vali knew Sugriva resided in the far away city of Kishkindha. Vali wanted his revenge, but he did not quite know how to defeat his younger brother.

At first, Vali tried to get this so called hero Rama to defeat his brother. The plan was perfect, Vali distracts Sugriva while the hiding Rama shoots his magical bow and arrow into Sugriva. The plan was flawless until Vali learned of what he would have to help Rama with.

“Rama, if you complete this task I will forever be in your service. What do you wish of me once my evil brother is defeated?"

Rama replied with the only request Vali would not help with. “Vali, my beloved wife has been kidnapped by the ten-headed Ravana. Her name is Sita and I miss her beautiful face every day."

Vali could not face his once true love. He was scared of what Sita would say once they saw each other. Especially if the avatar of Vishnu himself found out Vali loved his beloved wife. “Rama I am sorry but I cannot help you find Sita for reasons I will not tell.”




With utter disappointment, Vali left Rama to find another way to gain revenge on his brother. As he swung back to his tree house, a celestial being appeared out of nowhere. With a mystical voice, the being told Vali the story of a magical pond.

“Vali, my friend. There once was a group of brothers that were princes. These brothers were exiled from their kingdom and wondered the forest with their mother. All of the brothers were so thirsty one day that I, The Voice, tricked all of these brothers into drinking my poisonous water. I am who you need for your revenge. I will help you on one condition. You must come back every day and give me company for a single hour. If you do not do accompany me, you will face a deathly consequence.”
“I will do whatever you desire.” Vali replied to The Voice.                                                                                                     
As soon as he agreed to the plan, the yaksha vanished. Meanwhile, Sugriva, in hiding, awoke from a slumber to a magical voice. The Voice spoke sweet words to lure Sugriva to the poisonous pond. As Sugriva reached the pond, he took the water into his hands and drank a quick drink of the refreshing water. The poison filled all of his veins. As Sugriva laid their dying in total shock of what had happened, Vali walked out of the bushes to look his brother in his face.

“Sugriva, my brother, you do not look very well. I told you that I would get revenge one day, and that day is today. Goobye Sugrvia.”

Vali had gotten his revenge with the help of The Voice. No longer would his brother walk the earth. With a bit of remorse, Vali quickly left the pond to head back home, completely forgetting about The Voices deal….

To be continued…..

Author’s Note: I mixed the two epics that we read this semester: The Mahabharata and The Ramayana. The timeline is changed from the original story because Vali had not gotten revenge against his brother until after the Pandavas have died. I decided to have all of the Pandavas die from the pond to create a story for the Voice to tell Vali. Also, I included The Voice in my story because I felt he was key in the Mahabharata. The celestial being seems to like making deals with people, therefore I made Vali make a deal with him in order to kill his brother. The Voice ends up killing Sugriva by the poisonous pond instead of Rama killing him with his bow and arrow. I felt that this would allow the reader to fear the Voice even more. I did not like the way Rama killed Sugriva so this allowed me to avoid these actions of Rama. Furthermore, I changed the fact that Vali did not fight Sugriva one on one, but however, hid inside the bushes until after he drank the poisonous water. He did not fight his brother straight on but instead relied on a third party to get his revenge. I plan on continuing this story and finally have Vali meet up with Sita again, along with Rama.

Bibliography: The prose is from Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913), and the verse is from Mahabharata, Epic of the Bharatas, by Romesh C. Dutt (1898).


2 comments:

  1. Hi Trevor!
    I chose to read your portfolio today and comment on two of your stories. I read Revenge Will Come Soon and Revenge is Poison. Well done! It is such a treat to read a story that continues! I was really attracted to the picture on your portfolio page that shows the big pond. It is such a great image, it lured me in.
    There are a few mistakes that I noticed that caught my attention in both stories. In the story of Revenge will come soon in paragraph 3, I think you mean to say that he wrote letters TO Sita.
    In the seventh paragraph :She did not want to date and love a monkey that was so quick to anger and disrespect to her. I think you meant to not include the "to" in the disrespect to her.
    Tiny little issues but they stop the flow of reading.
    Overall, loved reading your stories! Good luck in all you do in the future!

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  2. This was a great mashup, Trevor. When I began your story, I recognized the parallel events in the Ramayana. I figured that this would merely be a retelling. However, when I read about the Voice, I was surprised and immediately became interested in reading the conclusion of your tale. I had no idea how the Voice from the mahabharata would play into Vali's revenge. You did a good job balancing the amount of detail and the brevity of the story. You gave just enough information about each scene to paint the picture in my head without burning a lot of words.

    The structure of the story is good. Everything flows nicely and the paragraphs are broken into nice little chunks. Your blog is easy to navigate and your portfolio introduction provides a nice preview of the stories that it contains. Great job! I believe that this is the first mashup that I have read in this class. I'll have to browse your other stories to see if there are more. Thanks for sharing!

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