The story starts in the great town of Bihar where two monkey brothers attended the nearby school. The eldest, Vali, was the most popular monkey in the school with all the girls, except one. Her name was Sita and she was dating the younger brother Sugriva. The story begins on a brisk night where Vali simply could not take not having the beautiful Sita any more:
“Sugriva! Get up! We are going to be late to the dance,” Vali screamed up the tree to his younger brother. Vali was irritated.
Sugriva had stayed up all night writing a letter Sita, singing out loud whatever he wrote. They had been dating for a year now and he could not wait to give her the carefully written letter before the school dance. He yelled back at his brother, “I am coming, brother! What, did you wake up on the wrong side of the limb today?” Both of them quickly ate their bananas for dinner and swung as quickly as possible to school.
As the two arrived, Sugriva quickly went searching for his Sita while Vali went straight for the food. Sugriva finally saw Sita. “Sita my love! You look so beautiful!” Sita was wearing a long, bright blue dress that went all the way to the ground. The two embraced and Sugriva handed the letter to Sita. As she read the sweet words of her boyfriend tears rolled down her face. As she finished, she looked up and smiled at Sugriva. The two began dancing to the slow-paced song that was being played. All was right in the world, except for Vali. He looked at the two with disgust. He wanted Sita and he could not understand why she had no interest in him. As he drank a glass of fruit punch, rage poured into him more and more. All of a sudden he snapped.
“Sugriva! You do not deserve such a beautiful woman. I am the most handsome monkey in Bihar and I want what you have!” He quickly sprinted to Sugriva, hands tightly bound into fists.
Sugriva, in total shock, was not ready for what was happening. He dodged the punch of Vali just in time. The two brothers fought in the middle of the dance as the other students looked in horror. Sita cried out as Sugriva punched his brother and Vali punched back. Sita begged and begged for the two to stop, but all she got in return from Sugriva was, “Shut up, Sita!”
Source: Sugriva and Vail
Finally, the teachers ran to the two monkeys and broke up the fight. The teachers yanked the bloody brothers away from each other. Sita could not take what just happened. She did not want to date and love a monkey that was so quick to anger and disrespect to her. She ran up to Sugriva and spoke words that sliced through his heart.
“Sugriva, you were my love. However, your quick reaction to anger and rude comments to me does not make me desire your affections anymore. I am through.” As tears ran down her face, she walked out of the dance. Never to be seen again by Sugriva.
Sugriva filled with rage! As the teachers let him go, he spoke these words of revenge to Vali. “I do not care what happens in this world, but I do know one thing. You will pay for this one day.” Sugriva walked out of the dance and swung away to a place far, far away to plot his revenge.
To be continued…
Author’s Note: I wrote this story in reaction to the Divine Archer I recently read this past week. I felt the story was very similar to the original Ramayana, so I wanted my own twist. The plot point of Sugriva, Rama, Vali, and Sita was missing a little connection in my opinion, so I was glad to be able to make my own story. I created a love connection between Sugriva and Sita, while Vali was envious of their relationship. Allowing the two to be in love when they were younger and their relationship ending due to Vali will make his revenge even greater when Rama needs help. Furthermore, it will allow for a conflict between both Rama and Sugriva when Rama comes to him for help in finding Sita and discovers their past. I felt that creating a story that connects all three of these characters early on in their lives would help explain why Sugriva even helps Rama get her back in the first place. The desire to get Sita back from Ravana will be even more because Sugriva actually loves Sita. The decision on the picture was actually based on the fighting scene between Vali and Sugriva. I felt that allowing the reader to imagine the two monkey brothers will help further connect the reader to the story. I plan on changing the original story even more once Sita is kidnapped by Ravana.
Bibliography: The Divine Archer. F.J. Gould. 1911.
Trevor, I enjoyed your story retelling of the Divine Archer. From what I see so far it seems very similar to the Ramayana. I have not yet read the Divine Archer, but I have put it down on the list for the upcoming weeks. From your storytelling about the Divine Archer I am already intrigued. I do see many of the parallels to the public domain edition of the Ramayana. I thought it was very unique the way created a new relationship between Sugriva, Vali, and Sita. I have seen a lot of different ways to retell stories and seeing a new connection between plot characters is definitely a new one that I have not seen. I am excited to see what your major twist is in your upcoming stories. All in all, it was a really good retelling of the Ramayana in which I was able to connect both your new story and the source story. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Trevor,
ReplyDeleteI thought you did an amazing job on this story! I love the creativity that you showed to make Sugriva and Sita be in love when they were young. I haven’t read the Divine Archer, but from the story you just provided I can only imagine that it is pretty interesting. The “wow” moment for me was when you decided to end the story with Sugriva making a vow for vengeance against his brother and letting on that there will be a continuation of this story. This choice built a great deal of anticipation and I have to say that I am very interested to see your take on a conclusion for this story. Your Author’s Note really helped me see your inspiration for this story and I agree that if Sugriva and Sita had an affectionate past, then Sugriva would have even more motivation to help Rama get Sita back from Ravana. Thank you for sharing a great story and keep up the good work!
Hey Trevor,
ReplyDeleteThis first paragraph will be comments for this story. I actually haven't read the Divine Archer and I think it would be nice if you added in your author's note how this story differs from the original. Just an idea though. I really enjoyed this story though. I think you did a good job with the fighting scene, it was intense to read! I think you meant to put "Vali" in your picture caption. I think that the picture you used is awesome. It is very telling of how this Sugriva and Vali scuffle turned out. Great job!
This paragraph is from comments on your continuation story, "Revenge is Poison." First off, I really think it is cool to have a continuation of your story. It is like waiting for the next weeks episode to come out on a television show series. Although since I'm reading it late its kind of like binge watching on Netflix haha. I think you did a great job of mixing the Mahabharata and the Ramayana! This story was also a great read! I think that the format looks wonderful along with how the story actually flows.
I like that you took the first small paragraph to create a setting so the reader didn’t have to guess as to what was going on. It was really helpful especially because the title was very vague -which was honestly why I chose this story in particular to read. I like that you chose to stick with Indian names for the characters in your story because it makes it feel very authentic. The overall theme is somewhat like Beauty and the Beast where Gaston wants Belle because she’s the most beautiful girl in town but is also the only girl he can’t have – although you probably weren’t going for that. I love the drama you incorporated between the brothers over a woman! IT was very tense and suspenseful! Also the small detail of Sugriva “swinging away” was a good reminder that the main characters were moneys. I had almost forgotten and begun to look at them as people because of their dynamic characters. Can’t wait to read the sequel!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! First off, I think you used great detail throughout the story. I also liked how it teaches the message that greed and jealousy never ends well. It was also extremely believable that Sugriva would declare that he would seek revenge against Vali. I would too! I also thought it was interesting how quickly Sugriva got angry with Sita. Many times, those are the moments when your true character shows. How do you react in stressful situation. I also liked the changes in the story to make them fit as monkey. It provided some comic relief peppered throughout the story. You did a great job! Thanks for sharing!
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